Ocho Cinco and Cinco Cinco need to….eh, we don’t need anymore Kornheiser jokes

I guess diarrhea of the mouth is spreading throughout the NFL. Here we have a couple of guys, on a couple of 0-2 teams–a couple of 0-2 teams no one gave much a chance to reach the post-season before the season started–making a couple of idiotic remarks. I don’t know which one is dumber. In one corner we have a malcontent wide receiver calling out his offensive line, and in the other corner we have a linebacker, playing for a team that has won exactly TWO of its last 23 games, talking about how he expects to win because the opposing team’s QB situation…..nevermind that team has been to 4 Super Bowls in the last 7 years.

The AP reported late last night that besides his confidence in himself being down, he has put the two losses on the boys up front, and by doing that, Ocho Cinco has put the spotlight directly on his offensive line. Now, setting aside the fact that Mr. Cinco wanted out of Cincy and became the center of attention as speculation flew as to whether he would cause problems for the Bengals and become a distraction……not that Chad Johnson would ever be a distraction…..

……but is it really a good idea to exude little faith in your offensive line, especially when the Giants, with their ‘We can make Tom Brady look mortal, lose our starting defensive ends and continue to put oppsing quarterbacks into the infirmary’ defensive line, are next on the Bengals’ schedule? I mean, we have already seen that the Bengals’ line can make Carson Palmer look like Chuck Wepner.

Next on our list is old friend Joey Porter. You know, the former Steelers linebacker notorious for running his mouth? Well, it seems that Joey forgot that he plays for the Miami Dolphins and is going to enjoy getting their first victory against the Patriots this weekend. Ah, for anyone who was wondering when cockiness becomes stupidity, it happens two seconds after Joey Porter opens his mouth. Now I know that Porter is confident going into this weekend–I mean, who wouldn’t be confident after getting lit up by the offensive juggernaut Arizona Cardinals that haven’t made the playoffs since 1998–but why give a team trying to rally around the loss of their offensive leader any motivation going into this weekend’s matchup? And why in the hell could you be so stupid and think that the Dolphins have much of a chance to win a game…….against an NFL team……..that hasn’t lost a regular season game since 2006…….and has gone to the playoffs every year since 2002?

My favorite part is when he says that because it’s not Brady, it shouldn’t be hard. Well, it wasn’t Tom Brady 14 times last year, and it hasn’t been Tom Brady twice this year, and yet you are 1-15 against non-Tom Brady led teams as a Dolphin. Mmmm, maybe Porter’s new mantra should be, if it isn’t Tom Brady, Kellen Clemons, Ben Roethlisberger, Trent Edwards, Kurt Warner, Brett Favre, Tony Romo, Jason Campbell, Duante Culpepper, Chad Pennington (hey, don’t have to worry about him anymore), Eli Manning, AJ Feeley, Derek Anderson, Carson Palmer, Matt Schaub or JP Losman, then, then it will be easy.

NYJNJ NEWS

Meanwhile, my second favorite AFC East team, due in no small part to the media that surrounds them, the New York Jets of New Jersey (NYJNJ) have also been in the news of late.

Brett Favre has stated the upcoming game against San Diego is a must win. Though they are 1-1 right now, the Jets have looked pedestrian on both sides of the ball after their first two weeks, and they know the Chargers, 0-2 but could easily be 2-0, will be coming out to make a point. With both New England and Buffalo likely to go to 3-0, the Jets do not want to go down 2 games so quickly in the division.

In other NYJNJ news, Eric Mangini was not pleased with the performance against New England and heads were a rollin’ come Tuesday as the Jets released their punter, Ben Graham. Couldn’t have been the $140 million they spent on off-season pickups, no, it was the punter.

Now as Jets Nation attempts to rebound from their 19-10 loss on Sunday, NY Post writer Mark Cannizzaro gave Jets fans across New York and New Jersey reason for hope. I love the optimism coming from people around the Jets. Here Cannizzaro writes about how dynamic Favre is. I guess according to the Post “dynamic” is a label you place on a QB who leads 3 drives of 10 plays or more, and then leads 6 other drives that result in gaining 2 net yards. (P.S. to the Post, Maroney got hurt last week and yet I don’t see you celebrating it, are you guys okay?).

The NY Post needs you Jayson Blair

Jetribution, Brettribution, I guess the Post had to catch up with the Times in the “Which NY Paper can make more things up” contest. All of this talk about how the Jets were going to pay the Patriots’ back for last season, and the seasons before that, was nothing more than Jets’ fans and football “experts” letting the joy of the Brady injury cloud their vision of what the Jets are. They are a team that has a 38 year old QB who has more years on earth than days in the Jets’ system. They have an offensive line that added one malcontent who finally got the contract he wanted and another player who got his contract and went into the crapper. (editor’s note: they also got Damien Woody’s appetite) They have a defense with no playmakers and, oh yeah, this was a 4-12 team last year.

Certainly if the Jets are to make a run for the division title, this year with Brady out is the year to do it. But what the hell was with all of the prognosticators “Wes Welker and Randy Moss will not make an impact on the offense”, um, yeah, because how would a backup QB, just trying to figure things out, benefit from a guy who commands double teams and can stretch the field, and another guy who is a playmaker in the middle of the field and excels in the short passing game? You’re right, Brady had it so much easier in 2001 when he was throwing to Troy Brown and David Patten. And nevermind that the Jets barely beat a horrid Dolphins team last week. I mean come on Jets fans, you of all people should know how much Pennington sucks and that even a decent performance by him is a indication that your defense couldn’t stop the Ohio State Buckeyes…..oh but wait, they didn’t have Beanie Wells.

The Jets are an improved team, but the NY media has built this team up to be more than what it is, a third place 7-9 team. That’s right……third place…….everyone seems to forget that another AFC East team–that actually plays its games in New York–was in the playoff chase last year until 3 straight losses dropped them from everyone’s radar.

Buffalo, the home of sports talk radio hacks, is the team to contend with the Pats for the same reason that nobody is talking about them. They didn’t go out and make any splashy moves in the off-season (amazingly Marcus Stroud did not generate the same buzz Favre did, weird). The Bills were decimated by injury last year and all they needed to do this off-season was get healthy and make a few moves. Now, with everyone healthy and Trent Edwards a year more experienced, the Bills are the best team that no one is talking about.

Sure, you can question their two wins because they played a Seattle team that had no receivers and a Jags team that had no offensive linemen, but you cannot question how well the offense has played against a decent Seattle defense and a Jags unit that was suppose to take them to the Super Bowl, and Trent Edwards made them look average (which is an improvement or JP Losman).

So, with the spotlight centered on a Jets team that has to answer the questions of fans and media alike as to how they could not beat the Brady-less Patriots, the Bills are poised for a 10 win or better season and to challenge the Pats. I wonder if talented NY writers such as Steve Serby catch on to which AFC East team is the legit playoff team if they will call it……………..Billtribution??? Oh god, my jokes are as lame as Serby’s writing.

Author’s Note: Despite the loss of #12, I, unlike another author who posts on this site who did not cry after ECU went 2-0, does not play poker nor is named Jeff but whom will remain nameless, did not abandon our Patriots. I would also warn against those who did, as they could suffer a Charlie Weiss like knee injury jumping bandwagons so much.