BREAKING NEWS

Multiple sources are reporting that Adam “Pacman” Jones has been suspended indefinitely by the league following the latest incident–which involved police responding to a call from hotel employees about an alleged altercation involving Jones and his round the clock security guards–to involve the talented corner back. Jones will sit out for at least four games before Roger Goodell makes a decision on the future of the Cowboys corner.

A side note, written in honor of the Budweiser’s Real Men of Genius series.

Welcome Cowboys fans to the land of What Coulda been

With the injury to Tony Romo that will keep him sidelined for the next 4 weeks, the loss of your Pro-Bowl punter, the question surrounding Roy Williams’ return, the loss of starting corner back Terrance Newman possibly out for the next 6 weeks, Felix Jones being out the next 2-4 weeks, and the possible meltdown of your star receiver, I would, as a Patriots fan, like to welcome the Cowboys’ fans across America to the land of ‘What coulda been if we coulda stayed healthy’. (That’s a lot of guys hurt)

Now, you will wonder if your team can beat the Raiders, and what the hell you will get from your quarterback who might be better suited for a career that requires his asking, ‘Paper or plastic ma’am’. (Johnson and Cassel really suck)

Yes, your dreams of a Super Bowl have been dashed and destroyed as your team, once thought to be the power of the NFL, has dropped 2 of its last 3, and with games against the Bucs, Redskins, Eagles, Steelers, and two against the Giants, you could drop below .500 faster than my heart dropped at the sight of my team’s season being severed in two by Bernard Pollard’s helmet. (Ouch that’s gonna hurt for 16 weeks)

So grab some cold ones, and get ready to just not give shit every Sunday, because what the hell, both #81s are about to go into complete shut down mode, and our quarterbacks can’t throw 40 yards with a nerf football. (What the hell’s the point)

(Welcome Cowboys fans to the land of what coulda been.)

Friday Morning Quick Hitters

The College Football season kicked off last night as #23 Wake Forest beat up on Baylor 41 -13. Riley Skinner threw 3 TD passes in the win.

The NY Yankees avoided a sweep at the hands of the Red Sox as Jason Giambi came off the bench to win the game 3 – 2. Josh Beckett scratched from another start and will seek opinion for elbow woes.

Christian Guzman hit for the cycle helping the Nationals to continue the LA Dodgers slide 11 -2.

The Tampa Bay Rays beat the Toronto Blue Jays 3 -2, extend their lead over the Red Sox in the AL East to 4 1/2 games.

The Chicago Cubs uses a 5 run 8th inning, powered by an Aramis Ramirez grand slam, to beat the Philadelphia Phillies 6 – 4.

The Minnesota Twins slipped to 1 1/2 games back of the Chicago White Sox in the AL Central with a 3 – 2 loss to the Oakland A’s.

Pacman Jones has been fully re-instated.

The Colts brick wall center, Jeff Saturday, will miss 6 weeks with knee injury.

Houston Texans WR Harry Williams, who has a cracked vertebrate and severe ligament damage in his neck, walked out of the hospital.

The Memphis Grizzlies sign Iranian center Haddadi.

The Milwaukee Bucks and the Golden State Warriors will meet in the pre-season in the China Games.

Oh My Goodness

Stu Barns retires and joins Stars coaching staff.

He Stands in Closest Proximity to Stupid.

After reading about the return of Chris Henry to the NFL I decided to skim the pages of some other NFL players with checkered pasts to see if they too were going to get what should affectionately be known as the WVU Treatment–in honor of Pacman and Henry breaking nearly every conceivable law and yet continue to play in the NFL. My search was abrubtly halted when I found this little gem regarding Matt Jones’ recent arrest for reportedly cutting up cocaine with a credit card in his vehicle. It is a quote I found on Profootballtalk.com’s website from Matt Jones’ father, Steve Jones.

“We want to make it clear that Matt was not in possession of any drugs, but that there were drugs in the vehicle and were located in the closest proximity to Matt.”

However, Arkansasbusiness.com reported that:

“…officers arrested Jones and two other men as they sat in a Toyota 4Runner in an unlit parking lot in a known drug area.

The preliminary arrest report shows an officer saw Jones sitting in the back seat of the car with a white card with a white powdery substance on it, and a credit card in his other hand.”

Yeah, I would say having it in your hand would be considered “closest proximity”…..what about in your nose, would that too put you in closest proximity? I bet if Jones had run over some kids his father would have stated that his son was not driving the car but would admit his son was in closest proximity to the driver’s seat. So Steven, ya wanna try again, take a mulligan on that one?

I know that this is his son, and he does not want to see anything bad happen to him, but who does he think he is helping by coming out with these ridiculous comments? Did Jones’ attorneys think this was a good idea? Who does have counseling him? Mike Nifong? Did he hire Kim Etheridge as his publicist? How about saying nothing at all.

But sadly, this is yet another instance of an athlete breaking the law and having those around them give every excuse as to why they are not at fault. Meanwhile, Matt Jones is waiting for the Court’s decision before he will read an attorney generated mea culpa that will have all the makings of an apology except for one thing…admitting he did something wrong.